Finding my feet... or is it wings?

I found myself writing this piece of prose/poem about 'what comes next' back in 2008 after the passing of a friend's daughter... Vicky, a life cut tragically short. I'm not a religious person, but feel (and certainly after experiences since my dad passed on) that there is an energy... that those who 'no longer live here with us' can control and are capable of using when their mood - or the happenings here with us tell them that we need a reminder about them... a bit of spiritual guidance maybe... I sent it to Vicky's folks in the hope that it may be read at her funeral in New Zealand... I read it myself at Terry, a cousin's, funeral in Yorkshire and also sent it to a friend, Malcolm, down in Cornwall after his partner/soulmate, Teri passed on in 2010. If anyone wishes to 'adopt' this and to change the lines which are personal to those who have 'moved on', then I would be very pleased - especially if it provides comfort.

Don't be frightened if you hear me at the door...or even see me at the window.

Pretend it's a trick of the light...or another one of those bumps in the night.

The spirit is strong and, I'm finding, quite playful in its first few days, weeks and - maybe months...

whilst waiting for another 'mission'.

You know...finding my feet - or is it wings?

But I'm not likely to phone and I doubt I'll e-mail. Texting? Well personally I was never that big a fan.

All that predictive stuff...If I was too quick it would end up nonsense...all wrong.

But I will be sending messages through the wind in the trees or maybe the surf on the rocks and sand.

Wherever we walked together listen out for me. I've always felt that I'd be able to do that.

You know...finding my feet - or will it be wings?

And always, from now on...help spiders out with a glass and a card...take care not to squash their legs.

You never know what happens next. And, another time (well into the future I hope) it could be you.

Although - I always fancied I would come back a human - like this last time round. Being me was good.

And they say that...out there...you know...you go back to the time when you were at your best.

For me that means being young, running, jumping - fresh faced...thirty-ish. Definitely...fit...Before IT...

You know...finding my feet or wings.

You may think you see me out - in a crowd, or walking along a country lane... incongruously between towns.

I'm already working at appearing for longer and for being more than just a fleeting scent or smell.

But, until I get the calling to make a full life of it again...I'll maybe pop in and out of your life.

Just in an incidental, experimental kind of way and then only from time to time. It's quite tiring...

You know...finding my feet...my wings!